Funny Niece

My sister Chalise's daughter Addie says some of the funniest things ever. I was just reading on my sister's blog again all the funny things she has said and decided that I should post them on my blog. If you don't know her they might not be quite as funny, but I still think people would get a chuckle out of them, so enjoy.

TJ and Addie

Cooper and Addie

Avonlea was in her crib "going to bed" but was yelling a lot. Ammon went in to check on her and put her binky back in. She ws just kicking her legs and flapping her arms like she always does when she's excited. Addie said, "She's not going to sleep, she just keeps doing the baby dance of joy"

I was in the living room (still in my pajama's) on a Friday morning. Addie brought me a dress out to wear, telling me she had chosen my clothes for the day. I told her I didn't want to wear a dress. Addie responded "Well you get what you get, and you don't throw a fit" (5 years)

We were driving and a tumble-weed blew across the road. Addie said "Mom, look at that giant hairball blowing in the wind" (5 years)

Addies friend was singing "All you Single ladies" while they were playing. As we were driving home, Addie started singing "I'm singing lettuce..I'm singing lettuce" ....single ladies, singing lettuce, same thing (4 years)

I was sick in bed for 2 days and hadn't got ready or done my hair. At the end of the 2nd day, Addie came and got on my bed and started doing my hair (putting all of her clips in my hair) and said "Mom, a girls got to do what a girls got to do"

Also while I was sick Addie said to me "Mom I'm so sad that your sick because we make the best team when your not sick" (4 years)

Addies prayers:
"please bless that my birthday will be on July 28th and that the world won't try to trick me"
"please help Santa to make all the toys and not forget what he is doing" (this was in June) (4 yrs old)

One of our good friends made Addie a doll. Addie declared it her new "special doll" and when I asked what her name was, she replied "ummm... Assy." Luckily it wasn't too hard to convince her to change it to something else. (4 yrs old)

Ammon was driving all the kids home and Avonlea started crying. Addie was trying to comfort her by saying "Avonlea, I'm sorry but there are no women in the van to feed you. I'm the only woman here and my breasts just aren't big enough. I'm sorry Avonlea" (4 yrs old)

Every night I "wake" Addie up to go to the bathroom. She is always so out of it and I've learned you can't reason with her. The other night as she was going to the bathroom, she said "Mom, where did he get that suit?" Having no idea what she was talking about and rather than trying to have her explain it, I simply answered "Bloomingdales" and she was satisfied
(4 yrs old)

Addie and Kimball got styrofoam swords for Christmas. This morning they were playing with them and Kimball was crawling/slithering across the floor while Addie was hitting him with the sword. I heard her say "Say your prayers crocodile!" and Kimball just stopped, folded his arms, closed his eyes and bowed his head while Addie continued to beat him. I couldn't help laughing (A-4, K-2)

We went to the childrens Christmas parade and one of the entries was the "cast" of Starwars with Darth Vader, storm troopers, etc. When Addie saw Chewy, she yelled as loud as she could "HI BIG FOOT!!!" (4 yrs old)

Addie: Did you get that watch for your Birthday when you turned 30
Me: yep
Addie: Soon you are going to be 31 then 32, 33, 34 then 35 and then you are going to start to slouch (4 yrs old)

We were driving and Addie was asking me a question about a movie (like she does about 500 times a day). To tell the truth, I wasn't paying much attention and just answered "I don't know" to which she replied "Mom you are smart enough to answer that question!!" (4 yrs old)

Addie: I just want to be a grown up so bad!
Me: Why do you want to be a grown up?
Addie: I just want to know what it feels like to have wrikly skin. (4 yrs old)

Addie was playing at a friends house and afterward, this is what her friends mom told me
Addie: How old are you?
Elaine: I'm 26
Addie: My mom is 30 and she is WAY older than my dad
Elaine: How old is your dad?
Addie: (starts counting on her fingers)......11 (4 yrs old)

Also while playing with this friend Addie and her friend were playing make-believe and Addie told her friend that she had to be the step-mother. After a little while her friend asked if they could PLEASE play something else, to which Addie replied "You CAN'T say please! You are the step-mother and step mothers don't say please. (4 yrs old)

We were driving by a construction site and they had really big piles of dirt. Addie looked at them and said "Wow, those are really big ant hills" (3 yrs old)

Addie: "I'm so INCINERATED!!!"
Me: "Your Incinerated?"
Addie: "Yeah, that means I'm very happy and excited" (3 yrs old)

We were playing outside and Addies crock shoes had mud on them. I had the hose on so I sprayed them off...while they were on her feet. She didn't like this and said "MOM! Your runining my life!"...I guess I have a 14 year old on my hands (3 yrs old)

My brother Denny asked Addie if she wanted pancakes or waffles for breakfast. Her reply was "Actually I just want fats and sugar" (3 yrs old)

Ammon lost his voice today and was a little squeaky. I think it was a little hard on his self esteem, especially when Addie asked "Dad are you so sad that you sound like a woman?" (3 yrs old)

Chalise- "Addie, you can be anything you want to be when you grow up"
Addie-(without any hesitation) "I want to be a mermaid" (3 yrs old)

Addie and Kimball were playing hide-and-seek. Unfortunatly, they both thought they were the ones hiding. When Addie got tired of waiting she said
Addie: Kimball, come here, I have a cake for you. Kimball there is a party and all of your friends are here. Kimball Come! Here! Right! Now! 1,2,3,4,5...
(3 yrs old)

This morning while driving to Parowan, Addie asked me
Addie: "Mom, does everybody have a line and 2 bums? (asking if everyones bum looks like hers)
me: yep
Addie:But mom, I want to have a bum that looks like the mountains. I hope she said that because we were driving by the mountains and not because she was reflecting on what my bum looks like. (3 yrs old)

Addie was frustrated because I was making her clean up a mess she had made. She was in the kitchen cleaning and I was in the living room cleaning.
Addie: "mom are you folding your arms?"
Me: "no, why?"
Addie: "Because I am praying to Heavenly Father"
Me: "Okay, I'll fold my arms"
Addie: "Heavenly Father, please help mommy that she will stop being a little stinker...." (3 yrs old)
I couldn't hear the rest of her prayer because I was laughing to much.

Addie was helping me can some pears this morning when the following came out of her mouth
Addie: "Mom, I'm so exhausted!"
Me: "Why are you so exhausted?
Addie: "cause my poops are saying 'I need to come out right now!' and I have to tell them 'Poops, you gotta be patient, I am making pears for the long cold winter" (2 yrs old)